She lay there, just looking exquisite. And I stood a few steps away wondering what good in the world I had done, of which I had no clue to deserve her. No. I did not deserve her. I knew that. She could have had someone who was better than me in everything. Someone more intelligent, more handsome and in every way better than me, of that I am not just sure but positive.
But the one thing, the one thing which I think tipped the scales in my favour was that I am sure no one could have loved her the way I loved her. And no I do not exaggerate here though people believe I do. I loved her just the way she was- free as the wind. She wasn’t in any chains of the world and yet she was more a part of it than any other being I have ever seen.
And love her I did. And do. And always will. Because ask me what colour I love the most and I would tell you that it is the colour of her eyes when she first looked at me and I realised that she loved me too. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. But that was the time when I felt that I would be overwhelmed by this feeling in my heart. The time when I felt that maybe I had a second chance at love. When I realised that heartbreak does not need to last forever.
Ask me what my favourite song is and I would tell you that it was that one song without any music in the background which she had sung herself. The one when I was down in the mud and she sent to me just to lift me up. We were hundreds of miles apart and yet in that moment it felt that she was right beside me whispering that everything is going to be all right. And sometimes that is all someone needs.
Ask me what is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I would tell you that it was when she was so sleepy that she fell asleep while talking to me on a video call. And just lay there like the most beautiful creature in the world and all I could do was look and not touch because fairies are not meant to be touched.
Ask me what my greatest fear is and I would tell you it is the fear of losing her. To think that one day we might never be together again, that she might leave me or we might get lost in this world with things which would be beyond the illusions of control that we mere mortals have established for ourselves. The things that we believe we can control when we cannot even tell what is going to happen in the next moment let alone years into the future.
She’s like one of those ideal things they talk about in epics. The ones which you think are not possible but you admire because they set a bar for you to achieve because they are the ideals you admire. One you think that you’ll never be able to achieve but you want to try all the same. Except that she was real and she was sleeping right in front of me.
I climbed in right next to her and took in her sight. Sleeping just like she had been all those years before. Everything had changed in the world but it seemed she was the only one unaffected by the cruel wounds time inflicts on us. The only divine being in this world of men and women.
I looked at her once more, slowly kissed her cheek and then lay down to sleep. Who cares where the future will take us. All that matters is that for now, at least, she is with me, I am with her.
The fact that we are together. That is all that matters.